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Mattous · Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2003 1:42 am Post subject: "For indoor or outdoor use only."

"For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?

I got sent this very amusing forward... if you have any that are actually good ones put them in here and we can all have a chuckle!

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EVER WONDER...

...Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

...Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

...Why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

...Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

...Why doctors call what they do "practice"?

...Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?

...Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing
liquid is made with real lemons?

...Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

...Why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?

...Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

...Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

...Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

...Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?

...Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

...Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

...If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

...Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?

AND...

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the
only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that
would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside
down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking
this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now,

somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news
flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a
child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere)?

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

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hehe... good hu? I want a stop button on my PC now!!!
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Lee-Ann · Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2003 12:47 am Post subject:

Okay that was totally awsome. I really needed a good laugh like that! Wow! Humans really can be stupid sometimes! Laughing

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Mattous · Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2003 9:37 pm Post subject:

Yes we can dear... not me tho...
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Maffew · Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2003 2:10 pm Post subject:

not me either...I think being stupid is a female only thing.
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Mattous · Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2003 3:43 pm Post subject:

Ooooo... I think your treading dangerous ground there Matt! I have no comment!
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Lee-Ann · Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2003 7:46 pm Post subject:

Mattous: Nice side stepping on that one. Way to skirt around the issue!

Maffew: That is thin ice.... do you really feel like making those kinds of comments when you know the beating that will follow?
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Joel · Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2003 9:25 pm Post subject:

Beating? Doesn't the Bible say woman are the weaker sex? Come on Lee-Ann your in SBS you should know this stuff Exclamation

Matt i don't think you have anything to worry about Domot Wack

Katie · Dedicated Poster Joined: 11 Aug 2003 Posts: 36

ooooh, id be careful there honey! Jaw Drop

Maffew · Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2003 8:32 pm Post subject:

Hey, can I just point out to all of you the picture to the left - who does that say I am. And surely you all know the well known scripture "...and superman himself will never be destroyed..." or something like that.

Also, well...I just can't imagine any girl beating the life out of me.
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5' 2'' rising and half a stone heavier (mostly in facial hair mass)!

Mattous · Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2003 7:56 pm Post subject:

Well those were all very dangerous comments guys! I have no comment...

Not because I'm scared of Lee-Ann it's just she's already left atleased 3 scars on me and even tho scars are very cool I am hoping to avoid anymore for a while!!! Very Happy

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Maffew · Posted: Wed Oct 22, 2003 1:35 pm Post subject:

Good choice. I'm currently sat here in a beanie and three jumpers, 'cause I'm visiting my brother in Teeside, but 'cause they're students the heating isn't on in flipping October.
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5' 2'' rising and half a stone heavier (mostly in facial hair mass)!

Lee · Lord of all things Postlike Joined: 29 Aug 2003 Posts: 250

ok.......id be careful there boys!!!!

Mattous · Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2003 12:20 pm Post subject:

Be careful about what lEe?

Your brother is at Teeside? Thats cool! I was gonna go there this year! But Marmac kinda changed that little plan! And I'm glad! The thought of another 3 years in full time education horrifies me!
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Lee · Lord of all things Postlike Joined: 29 Aug 2003 Posts: 250

ahem!

and yes three years of school........ ah I keep coming back here........

Mattous · Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2003 12:25 pm Post subject:

Marmac really is some where you can't go just once! That place is the coolest! I was reading through my journal today from the school and I worked out the exact date that me and Lee-Ann met! 23rd of March 2003! How cool is that!
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